Sexy Soccer (2003)

Movie Rating NR Contains: Strong Language Sex Nudity Mature Situations

Director: Sik Hok Min Movie Genre: Erotic, Comedy Country: Hong Kong Sexy Soccer Score Card The following scores are based on a 0.0 to 10.0 rating scale Hover your mouse pointer over the name of each scoring category below for a description Direction: 2.0 Writing: 2.0 Acting: 1.7 Cinematography: 1.0 Sound and Score: 1.6 Functionality: 3.1 Presentation: 2.6 Genre Comparison: 2.0 General Comparison: 1.0 Overall: 1.9 Reviewed 2006-06-22 23:59:15

Sexy Soccer is an erotic comedy about Rolando, an incompetent soccer coach with a gambling problem. After his debtors start threatening him, Rolando seeks solace at the soccer field. While sulking, Rolando notices a woman running laps around the field and is entranced with the beauty of her figure as she runs. While ogling this woman, Rolando decides to start an all-female soccer team and have the players use their good looks to distract the all-male opposing teams.

The overall quality of this movie is substandard. The visuals appear washed out and blurry as if they were filmed with a shoddy digital video camera. The movie's score is uninspired and uninteresting. Also, the sound effects are cartoon like and are out of sync with the action. The bland, amateurish acting offers nothing of value as well.

This movie is billed as an erotic comedy. The sex scenes in Sexy Soccer are anything but erotic. Instead of being titillating, the sex scenes start out clumsily and by the end both participants seem bored as if they are just waiting for the overly long scene to end. Also the soccer players' strategy of exposing themselves to the other team in order to score points is too ridiculous to be even remotely believable.

Sexy Soccer is also as unsuccessful at being funny as it is at being arousing. There is a running gag about how no one can pronounce anyone else's first name just seconds after hearing it. People continually call Rolando "Lolando" and call Pulls "Pussy". Rolando's recruiting methods are also just as unfunny and incredible. Rolando starts by approaching an attractive woman. He then compliments her attractiveness and explains the premise of his all-female soccer team idea. The attractive woman is reluctant at first but is soon swayed by Rolando's sexual prowess while the audience is treated to yet another uninteresting love scene.

To say this movie is bad is an understatement. Sexy Soccer is terrible even by the softcore porn standards to which it holds itself. If you are looking for an exploitation movie, watch Norifumi Suzuki's Sex & Fury instead. If you are more in the mood for a raucous sex comedy, you could always watch Yun Je-gyun's Sex is Zero. No matter what kind of movie you may be in the mood for, there is always something better to watch than Sik Hok Min's Sexy Soccer.